"Shoe Follow"
Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one woman's foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel.
Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her, trying to get her attention.
"Look, Martha," her friend said. "he wants to go home with you!"
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In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
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One Liner
"It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose."
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CleanQuote
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
~ C. S. Lewis
~ C. S. Lewis
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An English professor was reading Canterbury Tales to his
class and noticed that one of his students had fallen
asleep. The professor was annoyed enough to send the book
spinning through the air and bounce it off the sleeper's
skull. Startled awake, the student asked what had hit him.
"That," said the professor, "was a flying Chaucer."
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Warning Signs
For our anniversary one year, my in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set. It was a top-of-the-line premium set of cutlery.
The cutting board that they had purchased to complete the set, however, was a different matter altogether.
Imprinted on the packaging was the following warning: “Opening with sharp object may damage this product.”