Weird News
U.S.
MILWAUKIE, Ore. (UPI) -- An Oregon high school student said he was a little confused when he stumbled across a "goofy" Argentine rodent on the way to class.
Nicco Phillips, 17, was on his way to meet his girlfriend before class at
"At first I thought it was a baby deer. Then it sort of hopped away, like a rabbit. It looked so goofy," Phillips said of his unexpected Tuesday discovery.
Phillips and his girlfriend took the animal to Phillips' house after luring it into a cardboard box with an apple. The high school students said they let the cavey venture around the front yard on a leash.
"It's very cuddly with me. It's snuggles like a rabbit," Phillips said.
An owner has not been found, but Phillip's mother said her son would be glad to keep the curious cavey.
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Police: Ambulance thief caught after chase
Police said Mickey Terry, 36, crashed the ambulance about 13 miles from the hospital, damaging another car and a traffic signal, and attempted to flee on foot before he was caught by officers near the wreckage, The Denver Post reported Wednesday.
"I have no idea what was going through his mind. There were reports of speeds of over 100 mph and him driving on the wrong side of the highway. There was some very reckless driving," said the Lafayette Police Department spokesman Sgt. Fred Palmer.
Terry has been charged with aggravated motor theft and other felony charges, police said.
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Judge: Feuding neighbors 'potty'
Lord Justice Ward of London's Appeal Court said Robert Beton had an "arguable" case that a Kingston County Court judge may have erred in siding with neighbor Colin Streets in Benton's suit, which claimed Streets had erected a fence that cut off two small triangles of his garden that totaled slightly less than one quarter of an acre, The Daily Mail reported Wednesday.
The county judge ruled the property belonged to Streets due to the legal principle of adverse possession because the fence had been up for several years before Beton issued a challenge.
However, Beton claimed he did not see the fence until 2005 because it had been blocked by rhododendron bushes that died that year.
Ward ruled to allow the appeal, but he chided the neighbors, both millionaires, for allowing the dispute -- which has cost the neighbors a total of $600,000 -- to continue.
"Just how much is this stupid piece of land worth? What you are arguing over is a few rhododendron bushes," he said. "If you live in St. Georges Hill, you've got money to throw away, presumably. But why throw it away like this? You're all potty."
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| Nursing Home Jokes |
| One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her as planned, hoping she will be well cared for. |
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A Bit Pricey
At the end of a marathon shopping trip, I fumbled in my pocket for my credit card to pay for a lovely blouse.
"I'll have to resort to this—I'm out of cash," I told the distinguished gentleman who was waiting on me.
Noticing his surprised smile, I glanced down and realized that I had handed him the key card to my hotel room.
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"Epitath"
A doctor wrote about an epitaph he had seen in a local cemetery:
"In memory of my father: gone to join his appendix, his tonsils, his olfactory nerve, a kidney, an eardrum, and a leg prematurely removed by an intern who needed the experience."
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Oneliner
"What's the use of having ignorance if you can't show it?" - Lou Costello
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CleanPun - "Missionaries"
Missionaries do Emmanuel labor.
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”Lawn Burglars”
They broke into a storage area under the deck and also a shed in the back. Before leaving, though, they mowed the lawn of the residence.
Neighbors report seeing strange men walking around the home, but they never called the police because they figured the men were hired to do the lawn.
The owners are quoted as saying they will leave a pressure washer and painting equipment for the thieves next week as they did a better job than the lawn care company they had hired, and they were cheaper also.
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Absent-Minded Lawyers
Judge Jerry Buchmeyer of the US District Court for the Northern
District of Texas writes a monthly article for the Texas Bar
Journal. Often, he cites unusual exchanges between lawyers and
witnesses during trials.
The following true exchange says it all:
Lawyer: "So, Doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the
cause of death of the patient?"
Doctor: "That's correct."
Lawyer: "Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?"
Doctor: "No, I performed the autopsy."
Lawyer: "OK, were you aware of his vital signs when he was at the hospital?"
Doctor: "He came into the emergency room in shock and died a short
time later."
Lawyer: "Did you pronounce him dead at that time?"
Doctor: "No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I
was not involved with the patient initially."
Lawyer: "Well, are you even sure then, that he died in the emergency room."
Doctor: "That is what the records indicate."
Lawyer: "But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced
him dead, having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?"
Doctor: "The autopsy showed massive hemorrhaging in the chest area
and that was the cause of death."
Lawyer: "I understand that, but you were not actually present to
examine the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?"
Doctor: "No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce
him dead, but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in
a jar over at the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for
all I know, HE COULD BE OUT PRACTICING LAW SOMEWHERE!!"
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"Scientists believe that radiation from cell phones throws
off bees' navigation system. You know, just like it does to
drivers on the highway." -Jay Leno
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"Edward Laurens, the father of the chaos theory, died today.
His services will be held someplace completely random."
-Craig Ferguson
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"The president picked up the pope at the airport. How bored
is our president? He's not the president anymore. Now he's
like your college roommate, doing favors for pizza. Next
week I think he's helping Putin move." --Jon Stewart