A panda

A panda walks into a diner, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots out the restaurant's windows.

As the panda stands up to go, the owner shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the owner, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"

The owner opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for "panda":

"A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

PHOTO DROP

PHOTO DROP

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get
photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too
thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his
home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured
by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a
plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his
equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung
the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer,
"and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and
photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great
exasperation and impatience.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the
instructor?"