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The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up to his 110th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to interview him.
"How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter.
"You could say that I am a health nut," Benny answered. "I have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by ten o'clock, I've been going to Israeli folk dance classes since I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day, even in rain or snow."
"But," said the reporter, "my uncle Saul followed exactly the same routine and he died when he was 75.So how come it didn't work for him?"
"All I can say," replied Benny "is that he didn't keep it up long enough."
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A man goes into his regular barber shop, sits down at the chair and the barber ask him how he would like his hair cut this time.
The customer replied, "Well, lets see. Leave the left side long, take quite a bit off the right side to make it really short. I want the very back to have a mohawk and the front and top to be spotty and irregular."
The barber was astonished and said he could not cut hair that way.
"Why not," the customer replied, "you cut it that way last time!"
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A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen abdomen.
It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break, lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"
The mother turn red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"
"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant!"
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Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"