Some memorable quotes from Bob Hope:
ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill".
ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing."
ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
ON TURNING 100 ", I do not feel old. In fact, I do not feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING "I ruined my hands in the ring ...the referee kept stepping on them."
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR "Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'."
ON GOLF "Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees."
ON PRESIDENTS "I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six."
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER "When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, 'Congratulations. You have an eight-pound ham'."
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL "I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it."
ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY, "Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother."
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS, "That's how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom."
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES, "I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me."
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Looking For The Sun
I hope I never have to suffer
The way you do.
And I don't even know
How much life deserted you.
My misery is just a joke
Compared to what you must feel.
My greatest fear is an illusion,
To you, your fear is real.
You cry for help,
But you know they don't hear.
They're just too far
when you thought they were near.
You see no light
And you gave up on looking for the sun
Cause you need miracles
To come along - to find it.
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Thanks to Memphisbelle -- Chronic fatigue syndrome
By Mayo Clinic staff
Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is a complicated
disorder characterized by profound fatigue that
doesn't improve with bed rest and may worsen with
physical or mental activity. Of all chronic illnesses,
CFS is one of the most mysterious. Unlike infections,
it has no clear cause. Unlike conditions such as
diabetes or anemia, there's essentially nothing to
measure. And unlike conditions such as heart disease,
there are relatively few treatment options.
CFS may occur after an infection such as a cold,
bronchitis, mononucleosis, hepatitis or intestinal
illness. It can start during or shortly after a period
of high stress or come on gradually without any clear
starting point and any obvious cause. CFS is a
flu-like condition that can drain your energy and
sometimes last for years. People previously healthy
and full of energy may experience extreme fatigue,
weakness and headaches as well as painful joints,
muscles and lymph nodes.
Women are diagnosed with CFS two to four times as
often as men are. However, it's unclear whether CFS
affects women more frequently or if women report it to
their doctors more often than men do. An estimated
500,000 people in the United States have a CFS-like
condition. CFS can affect a person of any age or race.
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Thanks to J & G B: Blonde to the core
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football
game. They had great seats right behind their team's
bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just
couldn't understand why they were killing each other
for 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it, and
then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming
was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' Hel-LLLO...it's only 25 cents! I hate to think what they'd do if it was a whole DOLLAR?"
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RR Conductor
Bob is a favorite conductor among commuters on the Long Island
Railroad. He has great rapport with the regulars, but occasionally runs
into a problem rider.
One passenger, for instance, seemed irritated at having to hand over his
ticket to be punched.
"Where are you going today?" Bob asked, smiling.
"Well, what does the ticket say?" replied the traveler sarcastically.
"Um, it says you're on the wrong train," Bob informed him.
"What am I supposed to do now?" asked the flustered passenger.
Returning the punched card, Bob replied calmly, "Ask the ticket."