"Ski Wax"
As a ski instructor, I sometimes tease my little pupils. Once I told seven year old Luke that if my skis were faster than his, it was because I'd waxed them with butter.
The next morning his grandmother came to class with him. She took me aside and said, "We had no butter left for breakfast. Luke had spread it all over his skis, claiming that it was the proper way to wax them. I think you should tell the children that instead of listening to nonsense from other beginners, they should only take advice from their teacher."
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CleanQuote
"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday." - Senator John Glenn
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"First Impressions" Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
I was accompanying my eight-year-old daughter who was selling cookies door-to-door for the Girl Scouts. After visiting several homes, she commented on the different styles of doorbells: some buzzed, some rang, some warbled. We made a game of guessing what the next bell would sound like.
At the precise moment she touched the doorbell at one house, the church tower began to chime. She wheeled around with a look of amazement on her face. "Now that's a doorbell!"
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For Sale:
Apple iPod
15 GB model, slightly used
167 songs loaded
The RIAA says it's worth about $25 million. I'll let it go for $5 million,
plus shipping.
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"Johnny," said the teacher, "if coal is selling at $6 a ton and you pay your
dealer $24, how many tons will he bring you?"
"A little over three tons, ma'am," said Johnny.
"Why, Johnny, that isn't right," said the teacher.
"No, ma'am, I know it isn't," said Johnny, "but they all do it."
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y wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive. I took her to
the gas station.