Why did the reporter go to the ice cream parlor?
He wanted a scoop.
Why did the clown go to the doctor?
He was feeling a little funny.
Why did the boy take a hammer to bed with him?
He wanted to hit the sack.
Why did the sword swallower swallow an umbrella?
He wanted to put something away for a rainy day!
Why did the elephants at the circus go on strike?
They were tired of working for peanuts.
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"Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher"
You are probably an elementary school teacher if:
~ You ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home.
~ You move your dinner partner's glass away from the edge of the table.
~ You ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom as you enter a theater with a group of friends.
~ You hand a tissue to anyone who sneezes.
~ You declare "no cuts" when a shopper squeezes ahead of you in a checkout line.
~ You ask "Are you sure you did your best?" to the mechanic who fails to repair your car to your satisfaction.
~ You sing the "Alphabet Song" to yourself as you look up a number in the phone book.
~ You say everything twice. I mean, you repeat everything.
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Washable: What a cowboy does very carefully.
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One Liner
"I'm nobody's fool, but am available for adoption."
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CleanQuote
"Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it."
~Dwight D. Eisenhower
~Dwight D. Eisenhower