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Class Reunions
Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;Make plans to attend without fail.
I'll never forget the first time we met;We tried so hard to impress.We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars,And wore our most elegant dress.
It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.It was held at a fancy hotel.We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined,And everyone thought it was swell.
The men all conversed about who had been firstTo achieve great fortune and fame.Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine housesAnd how beautiful their children became.
The homecoming queen, who once had been lean,Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.The jocks who were there had all lost their hair,And the cheerleaders could no longer do kicks.
No one had heard about the class nerdWho'd guided a spacecraft to the moon;Or poor little Jane, who's always been plain;She married a shipping tycoon.
The boy we'd decreed "most apt to succeed"Was serving ten years in the pen,While the one voted "least" now was a priest;Just shows you can be wrong now and then.
They awarded a prize to one of the guysWho seemed to have aged the least.Another was given to the grad who had drivenThe farthest to attend the feast.
They took a class picture, a curious mixtureOf beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.Tall, short, or skinny, the style was the mini;You never saw so many thighs.
At our next get-together, no one cared whetherThey impressed their classmates or not.The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal;By this time we'd all gone to pot.
It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores;We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.Then most of us lay around in the shade,In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.
By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,We were definitely over the hill.Those who weren't dead had to crawl out of bed,And be home in time for their pill.
And now I can't wait as they've set the date;Our sixtieth is coming, I'm told.It should be a ball, they've rented a hallAt the Shady Rest Home for the old.
Repairs have been made on my old hearing aid;My pacemaker's been turned up on high.My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled;And I've bought a new wig and glass eye.
I'm feeling quite hearty; I'm ready to party,I'll dance until dawn's early light.It'll be lots of fun; and I hope at least oneOther person can make it that night.
Author Unknown
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RULES OF COMBATI do not know the author of this list of "Rules ofCombat", but you may find it helpful:1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.2. Don't look conspicuous: it draws fire.3. The easy way is always mined.4. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.5. The enemy invariably attacks on one of twooccasions:a. When you're ready for them.b. When you're not ready for them.6. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someoneelse to shoot at.7. If your attack is going well, you have walked intoan ambush.8. Don't draw fire, it irritates the people aroundyou.9. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemyfire is incoming friendly fire.10. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is *not* ourfriend.11. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.12. When in doubt, empty the magazine.13. Anything you do can get you shot -- includingdoing nothing.14. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and youcan't get out.15. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.16. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smartenough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it,and lucky enough to survive.17. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the lastand don't ever volunteer to do anything.18. The quartermaster has only two sizes: too largeand too small.19. Five second fuses only last three seconds.20. It is generally inadvisable to eject directlyover the area you just bombed.
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Mental ExerciseExercise of the brain is as important as exercise ofthe muscles. As we grow older, it's important that wekeep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't useit, you will lose it" also applies to the brain, so...Below is a very private way to gauge you loss ornon-loss of intelligence. So take the following testpresented here and determine if you are losing it orstill a MENSA candidate.Ok, relax... clear your mind, and begin.